


Dorothy wants to be a tin woman

by MelaniaGreen



Category: RWBY
Genre: Trans Female Character, Transhumanism, death anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelaniaGreen/pseuds/MelaniaGreen
Summary: Ruby and Penny have found each other again in Atlas. They finally have some time to spend together, not a lot of it is free however. After a mission in the frozen toundra, both of them talk about mortality and what it means to be made of flesh or metal.
Relationships: Penny Polendina/Ruby Rose
Kudos: 10





	Dorothy wants to be a tin woman

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have any excuses.   
> I had some thoughts and I needed an outlet for them.  
> And so this was born.

Penny and Ruby had been resting for a while. Technically, it was only Ruby really who needed rest, but Penny was more than happy to not do anything for a while to stay with her girlfriend. They had precious little free time between missions in and around Mantle, it was the second time they went on a duo mission and their first transport back had been interrupted by a grimm attack on Mantle’s exposed section. This time Penny’s internal scroll was silent, they had nothing to do other than enjoy each other's presence during their ride in the back of the transport vehicle allocated by the military.

They really had had very little time together. They had barely started dating when the Fall happened. It had been a stressful update when Penny was told, after she came back from the dead, that the destruction of her body was part of a chain of events that led to the destruction of Beacon. The fact that there was no liaison with the outside of Atlas didn’t make things better. Being the protector of Mantle wasn’t easy when a good part of her processing power was dedicated to calculating the likelihood of teams RWBY getting away in a decent condition.

They both seemed as happy as each other to see the other one okay. Despite the little time they got together, both agreed that they would try dating properly this time when they could. It had led to most of their date being quiet nights when they caught up on the part of their life they missed.

The mission they just finished wasn’t as easy as it was supposed to be on paper. They were supposed to secure a small dust storage abandoned by the sdc years ago. The scout team that had located the abandoned building and the SDC container surrounding it. They had reported a pack of Beowulf big enough to prevent them from entering the building proper.

Ruby was the best at fighting grimm, especially packs of small ones, with her scythe and her semblance. Penny was supposed to be able to fight in any configuration, but Ruby had told her she was best suited for single target fighting using all her swords. They both took the mission with those justification for the general, though he probably knew why they tried to work as a duo whenever possible.

Clearing the pack of beowulf outside wasn’t complicated though they were more ferocious than those in Signal according to Ruby. Their aura level hadn’t dropped too low. The problem started when they entered the building to find a second pack of smaller beowulf. Being young didn’t mean they were any less aggressive and the range of crescent rose, that was a great advantage outside, was not suited for a cramped inside. Ruby had to use the spear form of her scythe which she was a lot less trained for, and even with that Penny had to do most of the killing. They still had some aura left when they heard a powerful roar and crash of crates on the ground. An alpha beowulf was the last thing any hunter would want to see most of the time, but when your aura is in the red it gets a lot more terrifying. The fight grew desperate as both their aura broke, Penny’s heart sank as she saw the dying beowulf’s claw come down on Ruby’s unprotected back. Her thruster flared to life and sent her crashing into her girlfriend's side, pushing her out of the way. Her back sensor came to life all at once as the claws dug into her back plating, it didn’t penetrate deeply enough to touch any important part and the pain was locked to a tolerable level.

Ruby didn’t even bother getting up as she turned into petals and flew up above the beowulf head, Crescent rose turning back into its scythe form as she fell down and cut through its neck with the help of gravity. She could feel the vibration shaking through her arm as the tip of her scythe hit the hard-concrete underneath. She didn’t have time to think about that though, no time to think about the warm liquid that was coating her right leg, she had to check on Penny first.

Her own diagnostic told Penny she was mostly fine. The plating on her back had blocked the claws from digging too deep. Ruby was still in disbelief; she had followed her first aid class well enough to know that a cut this deep would have severed Penny’s spinal cord if she had one. It would have done exactly that to hurt if Penny hadn’t taken the hit for her.

Ruby was idly fidgeting with Penny’s torn clothing. Her love for weapons did not always extend to electrical objects that were usually much too delicate for her hands, but her girlfriend was an exception. Seeing the colorful cable that ran where her own veins would be. Motors and rotors instead of muscle and articulation. A lot of the pieces she saw didn't even recognize but she was still mesmerized by everything that hid beneath the soft skin of her girlfriend. “I wish I had a body like yours…” The word had left her mouth in a whisper that Penny probably wouldn’t have heard if her senses weren’t closer to a faunus than a regular human. Judging by how the robot had turned around to look at Ruby with a tilted head and a questioning look, she had heard very well.

It probably sounded creepy to have your girlfriend whisper how she would like your body while she’s looking inside a wound on your back. She probably should explain herself before Penny started to wonder if she should take a restraining order. “I meant that I’d like to have a body as resilient as yours! If you didn’t push me away, I would have died or been paralyzed. You took the hit and we’re talking as if you didn’t have anything! My body would have fallen apart and be scarred for life, but with some repair you’ll be good as new, that’s incredible!” Ruby was getting more and more excited as she talked through the soreness of her muscle was making her less exuberant than usual.

Penny felt uncomfortable with what was happening. Though she tried to take her girlfriend’s words as compliments but despite her best effort she couldn’t hide the slight frown on her face. Ruby seemed to notice as well since she stopped enumerating all the ways in which her “amazing robot body” was superior to hers. “Ruby…I do not feel comfortable with all of  _ this _ . While I can understand your fascination, I am uncomfortable with your, quite literal,  _ fetishization _ of my body.” Ruby’s whole body shuddered at the word she put emphasis on. She didn’t quite understand how her word could hurt her girlfriend this badly, but it was painful to see Ruby close in on herself.

The red girl looked lost in her own head and, judging by her empty gaze, it wasn’t going well. Penny placed a hand on Ruby’s shoulder which jumped at the sudden contact. She quickly took her hand off the shuddering huntress, physical contact didn’t help this time. It was probably bad since Ruby was usually so stra. “Ruby I promise I am not mad or hurt. Do you want to talk about what upsets you?” Ruby was taking slow breaths that matched her folder about deep breathing.

It took a few deep breaths for Ruby to calm down enough to look at Penny again and be able to talk. She wasn’t really looking forward to this explanation, but she couldn’t lead to her girlfriend after hurting her with how insensitive she had been. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about what I said, my brain is a bit fuzzy from the painkillers. It’s not a good excuse to do that though.” She went back to looking at the inside of the vehicle.

Penny slowly crouched down, probably avoiding movement so as to not startle her. “Ruby, I accept your apology, but I do not think it’s the only reason you are upset. Do you want to talk about what got you so upset? It’s okay if you don’t want to but you told me that friend should be here for each other, and we’re…a special kind of friend!” Ruby couldn’t stay sad while looking at her cute girlfriend blushing, it was probably illegal to be this cute, but Ruby didn’t care, she had already been a criminal in Atlas once, she could do it again.

She took a heavy breath as she rested her breath against the car’s interior. The vibration from the road was calming her down a bit for an unknown reason. She could use all the help she could get her hands on. “I got pretty upset because you were right about me fetis…fetishizing your body. I didn’t mean to though! I…I have not always had the best relationship with my body but now that I finally feel comfortable in it most of the time…I’m really afraid for it now.” She was now clutching at her body, flashes of the fear she had discovered when Tyrion attacked them and in every fight against the grimm that followed. The latest example had been only a few hours before and she was feeling every place where her aura wouldn’t be able to make the claw mark or bite disappear without letting blemishes on her skin. Nothing that would be noticeable to someone other than her, but she was the one inside this body.

Penny looked distressed but she still took time to slow her motion until Ruby gave her a short nod to confirm the robot could hug her. Soon she felt the soft embrace hold her still without really pressing on her. She felt like she needed to explain herself further for her excuses to really count. “I’ve spent so much time and energy to fix what was wrong with this body. It took even longer for me to be comfortable being closer to other people without acting the role of “the perfect trans girl”. To be able to feel comfortable despite all the _disgusting_ _stuff_ that people imagine about my body. And now to be able to be a huntress like my mom, I’ve got to risk all of it at each fight!” Ruby felt hot tears on her face, her nerves were giving up on her, it was all so unfair!

Penny’s girlfriend was really upset, and she didn’t know what to do. Hugs seemed to be appreciated this time and she was more than happy to provide. She cursed her lack of knowledge, she understood some of the things Ruby was talking about, but she couldn’t  _ understand _ what it was like to be literally stuck inside a body. She had died and came back to life and thought that left her with some traumatizing memory; it also separated her from feeling any fear about death.

Her girlfriend was not done though. The bonus time would let her try to find the words to help Ruby. (Ruby talks about how petty she feels complaining about scars but she can’t help it and she’s really afraid that one day she’ll let someone get hurt because she got scared for herself.

Penny, failing to know clearly what to answer, chooses to point out an inconsistency by asking Ruby if she thinks Yang is flawed because of her missing arm.

Ruby says “No...And it has been replaced by a better one anyway! Sorry...I’m doing it again”

Penny tells her “It’s fine to think robotic limbs are superior to flesh one if it is what you think though you should maybe ask Yang how she feels about you thinking of her this way”. Penny goes back and asks if Weiss’s face is damaged because of her scar.

Ruby answers no again with less resistance and figuring the next step says Blake’s scars don’t make them any less handsome.

Penny tells Ruby that while her body might not scar in a traditional way, her mind does scar. She tells her how much she remembers about her own death. She can’t forget anything to protect herself because damaging experiences set a precedent in her programming to try and prevent it from happening ever again. She doesn’t fear death either but one day her body might break down without her father there to build her back up, then she’ll be stuck fully conscious as she’s stuck in her body for who knows how long since she’s the first IA with a soul. She might never be able to truly die.

Ruby will die. One day she’ll grow too old and her body will cease to function properly. And her heart will stop. Penny will be alone. A robot with a soul but no more heart. She’s never been afraid of losing her body, it’s not important, but now she had a life to lose and it was much more terrifying. Her father and the general hadn’t planned for her IA to learn this much about emotion, clearly an oversight: she was designed to grow and evolve.One day she  _ will  _ see Ruby grow old while she stays forever young, the woman she loves will die of old age, because Penny wasn’t going to let her be killed by anything but time, and she will still be looking like a 20 something.

Ruby looked devastated by this knowledge though she visibly stops herself from saying anything. Penny can’t help but smile at the small wrinkles on her girlfriend’s front when she’s lost in her head. Some things haven't changed since Beacon. She waits for Ruby to make her decision silently. “I...I don’t think I can understand how you feel. I can imagine it but I just have fears you don’t understand and you have fears I can’t understand either. Yours sound a bit more important than mine…” Ruby is clearly ashamed by her own insecurities.

“Ruby, both our worries are about our bodies and mortality. It’s not about who has it worse. We can just share our experiences and try to help the other.” Penny slowly took both of Ruby’s hands in hers and squeezed them gently. “We have a long time to learn about each other”

Ruby’s smile warmed her robotic heart and ,judging by her heat vision, her own managed to warm her girlfriend too. They still had some time before arriving at Mantle and Penny wanted a detailed list of people who had dared to make her girlfriend feel like an object.


End file.
